No Longer "Doula'ing"

I have made one of the hardest choices of my life.  I've chosen not to be a Doula anymore.  Not that it's a problem but that it's an end of the chapter in my life.

2012 was "The Year From Hell" for our family.  Between my grandparents having health issues and all the other "joys" of having a family, we lost 2 babies of our own.  My husband and I had been trying for well over 3 years (pretty much since Quinton was 1).  We lost "Baby Casey" at 7 weeks.  It was a short pregnancy.  A well loved, much celebrated, completely perfect pregnancy.  And then we lost our sweet angel.

After we had waited 2 cycles and were allowed to start trying again we did.  And with no medical help whatsoever we got pregnant.  This time everything was watched and was wonderful.  Our baby grew so wonderfully, and was just perfect.  Somewhere between 16 weeks and 19 weeks something "went wrong".  My blood pressure went sky high (without me knowing) and things got harder and harder.  Our precious baby didn't survive.  Otis Gus Gilbert was born November 28th 2012 at 3:30am.  He was 20 cm long and 200 grams.  We were so upset.  Everyone kept saying "you can try again, it's ok".  Well it wasn't ok.  We now know that if we ever try again to have another baby, I will die. 

My family needs me more than we need a biological baby.

So here we are.  After waiting a few months (as everyone recommended) I've chosen to close down my Doula company.  I've loved every single birth I attended.  Every moment I spent with my clients.  It was such a blessing and such a wonderful experience.

If you do need a doula please feel free to contact me and I will try to set you up with someone in your area.

All the best

Miranda